Decision Day Retreat 

One Day to Help You KNOW Whether to Stay or Go

-
Days
-
Hours
-
Minutes
-
Seconds

What If You Could Make a Decision About Your Marriage that You Felt Confident About?

Deciding whether to divorce is HUGE!  

But NOT deciding whether to divorce, and twisting in your head about whether you should stay married or get a divorce, is HELL.  

It's a hell you can stay trapped in for years.

You know that getting a divorce will change EVERYTHING. You also know that staying in your marriage the way that it is now is sucking the life out of you.  

Every day that passes is one more day lost.

Meanwhile, you keep going over the same scenarios in your head, over and over again. 

You picture what going through a divorce will do to you and your kids. Then you picture what life will be like if you stay and nothing changes. Then you go back to thinking about divorce.

You're going in circles.

Meanwhile your life is passing you by.

I will help you get off the emotional rollercoaster of decision making, deal with your procrastination and guilt, and help you figure out whether divorce is really right for you … or not.  

"I felt I needed help to make one of the most important decisions in my life and to get unstuck. ... This retreat gave me knowledge I did not have and tools for me to use. I wish this was available years ago!"

A Simple Test 

How many of these apply to you?  

  • You think about leaving your marriage at least once a week or more; 
  • You’ve lost respect for your spouse; 
  • The only things you and your spouse talk about are the kids and the logistics of daily life; 
  • You and your spouse seem to have nothing in common; 
  • You and your spouse don’t do anything together anymore (unless you have to!); 
  • You feel like you’re walking on eggshells when you’re around your spouse;
  • Your friends and/or family don’t get along with your spouse; 
  • You and your spouse either fight a lot, or you stopped fighting because you don’t have the energy to fight anymore and it seems pointless anyway;
  • Your sex life (with your spouse) is either unsatisfying or non-existent; 
  • Either you or your spouse (or both of you!) have had an affair; 
  • You find yourself fantasizing about dating other people; 
  • You’ve seriously considered divorce; 
  • You’ve talked to a divorce lawyer, but just can’t seem to move forward.  

If you said “Yes” to one or more of these factors, you know your marriage is in trouble. 

But ...

Believe it or Not, the Fact That Your Marriage Is In Trouble Is NOT Your Biggest Problem!  

Your biggest problem is that you can’t decide what to do about it.  

Here’s why.  

If you could really commit to working on your marriage, you would have a chance to make it better.  

If you could really commit to getting a divorce, you would have a chance to move forward and create a better life for yourself and your kids.  

But while you’re stuck in indecision, you don't have a chance to do anything!

You're not making your marriage any better, and you’re not living your own life.  

You are going exactly NOWHERE.  

What’s worse: you can stay stuck for YEARS!  

I’ve known people who couldn’t decide whether to divorce for DECADES!  

And, while they were stuck not knowing whether to stay or whether to go, their lives kept going on. They weren't living. They were existing.

What's worse, the longer they did nothing, the more stuck they got. And nothing ever changed.  

Of course ...

Making A Decision About Something As World-Changing As Divorce Isn’t Easy.  

You don’t want to leave if there’s still a chance that things can get better. You made a vow. You don't want to give up on your marriage. (Plus, you’re worried about what divorce will do to your kids.)  

You’re also worried about money … and rightly so! 

The average cost of a divorce is $15,000 – $30,000 … and that’s only if you don’t make it a huge fight!  

At the same time, you know that money can't buy happiness. It can't buy love.

Is this what the rest of your life is going to look like?

What if nothing ever changes?

On the other hand, what if you get a divorce then spend the rest of your life alone?

You don't have the answers. But you can't stop the questions.

You ask yourself the same questions over and over again.

Meanwhile, because you can't decide what to do, you do nothing. You feel trapped.  

And that makes you feel awful. You hate your situation. Sometimes you even hate yourself.

You shouldn't.

Even people who have no problem making other kinds of decisions – people who make decisions every single day at work and at home -- have trouble deciding whether or not they should get a divorce.  

Why?  

It’s not just that with divorce you have so much at stake (although you do!).  

It’s that …  

No One Ever Taught You How To MAKE THIS KIND OF DECISION!  

The truth is that, when it comes to deciding whether to divorce, the decision making tools most people use – DON’T WORK!  

• Making a list of Pros and Cons about why you should or shouldn’t stay married will only get you more confused than when you started.  

Asking for advice won’t work because you don’t really want other people all up in your business – plus they don’t know your situation the way you do. They're not you. So you’re not sure their advice would make a difference anyway.  

“Following your heart” or “Listening to Your Head,” sound good. But your head and your heart are both so confused and conflicted that you just keep going back and forth, and back and forth, and back and forth, and ... !  

Here’s a Secret:  

None of those decision-making techniques will work in divorce.  

But there ARE techniques that do work.  

That’s what the Decision Day Retreat is all about. 

"Going through this process was helpful and not feeling like I needed to leave today with a decision was key. ...The Decision Day Retreat introduced me to new techniques to think about outside of the traditional pros/cons - which doesn't work for this."

The Decision Day Retreat is about using decision-making tools that WORK so you can actually make a decision and -- more importantly-- make a decision you can live with!  

Okay BUT ... (The Infamous “But!”)

Now, at this point you may be thinking that all of that sounds great, BUT you’re also feeling a little skeptical, and maybe even a little concerned. You have all sorts of fears, some of which sound like this …  

• I’m worried that no matter what I do, I still won’t be able to make a decision; 

• I’m worried that my spouse will find out what I’m doing; 

• I’m worried that I’ll be forced into making a decision I can’t live with; 

• I’m worried about confidentiality and privacy; 

• I’m worried that I won’t be able to get away for a whole day retreat.  

If any of those concerns popped up in your mind, I want you to know:  

I Get It!  

As an attorney who has dealt with sensitive family and marriage-related issues for decades, I know how gut-wrenching the decision to divorce can be.

I've watched people twist over this decision and go back and forth for what seems like forever.

I know that privacy, confidentiality, and yes, secrecy, are important. 

I understand that you need to know HOW to make a decision, but you don't want to be FORCED to make a decision.

I also know that you probably think that, because I'm a divorce lawyer, I'm going to push you into getting a divorce.

But here's what you don't know:

Unlike other divorce lawyers, I have no interest in seeing that you get divorced. 

I don't want to be the lawyer in your divorce. I'm not taking new litigated divorce cases as a lawyer and I haven't taken them for years. You couldn't hire me to represent you in your divorce even if you wanted to.

Unlike marriage counselors, I'm not going to push you to stay married.

I'm not a marriage counselor. I'm a coach. My goal is to bring you confidence and clarity - whether you stay married or not.

I've helped people save their marriage, and I've helped people end their marriage.

What matters to me is that you learn how to make this decision in a way that you can live with.

Here’s what one of my clients has said: "I was lost, I didn’t know what to do or who to talk to when my wife thought we should get a divorce. I have known Karen for a number of years and I knew she specializes in situations like this, so I called her. She talked me down from the abyss I was standing over. We laid out a plan she believed would help me, my family and my marriage. It has been 2 years and my wife and I are still together."  

I will give you the tools and information you need to make a decision. 

I'll help you dig deeply inside yourself so you can start to find the decision that's truly right for you. 

But I’m not going to bar the door and force you to stay until you make up your mind about what you want to do.  

What if, at the end of the day, you haven’t made a decision?  

Believe it or not, what’s most important is NOT that you make a decision while you’re physically at the retreat.  

(Honestly, putting that kind of pressure on yourself is one of the things that will PREVENT you from making a decision!)  

  • What’s most important is that you get CLARITY about what you really want, what’s stopping you from getting what you want, and what you need to do to get past what’s stopping you.  

   

  • What you need is to have the right TOOLS so you can make your decision AND move forward with that decision when you're ready to do so. 


  • What's most important is that you have a PLAN for moving forward so that, once you make a decision, you actually DO something with it ... because unless you take action on your decision, nothing changes.


You don't just need a decision. You also need a PLAN.

Having a PLAN determines whether you will actually implement your decision, or just fall right back into stressing out over what you should or shouldn't do.

That’s why, as part of the Decision Day Retreat, we will spend time making YOUR ACTION PLAN.  

Here’s What We’ll Cover in the Decision Day Retreat:  

  • Tools and techniques for effective decision-making (NOT making lists of the Pros and Cons of marriage vs divorce!);  
  • What science shows us about how and why people get stuck; 
  • The effect that your decision will have on your children and your finances – whether you go or whether you stay;
  • ALL of your options (HINT: You have more than just 2 of them!);  
  • The RIGHT questions you MUST ask yourself if you want to come to a decision you won’t regret; 
  • How to survive financially if you divorce;  
  • How to deal with guilt and shame WITHOUT feeling bad about it (ANOTHER HINT: People have just as much guilt about staying as they do about leaving. I'll help you deal with both.); 
  • How to create a plan for moving forward – no matter WHAT you decide! and 
  • How to talk to your spouse about whatever you decide so that you can either lessen the negative impact of your decision to divorce or increase the chances that your spouse will want to work with you on your marriage. 


You Will Also Take Some Things With You After You Leave the Retreat, Like … 

  • CLARITY about your future; 
  • Peace of Mind that you’re making the right decision; 
  • A written list of questions you can use when interviewing a divorce lawyer if you decide to divorce; 
  • A written checklist of tips for telling your spouse you want a divorce; 
  • A written checklist of steps to take to try to save your marriage;
  • A written Action Plan for moving forward.  


PLUS you’ll have the benefit of my expertise and experience to answer your questions and guide you all along the way.  


"I learned so much about why I have been stuck and what I can actually do to move in a positive direction rather than stay locked in indecision because of fear and uncertainty. Coming to terms with this today was huge."

Register Now!

But how can I get away for a whole DAY without my spouse finding out?

Yes, I know. Getting away can be a challenge. 

Because of that, I’ve done all I can to make it easy for you to participate in the retreat:

  • The retreat is on a Friday, so it's close to the weekend but not ON the weekend, when you may need to be with your kids;
  • The retreat is conveniently located near O'Hare airport, so it's accessible by plane, train and automobile.
  • The retreat is only one day, so you can fly in and out without staying overnight.
  • I've taken steps to make this retreate confidential. Every retreat participant MUST sign a written agreement to maintain the confidentiality of everyone in the group. If you won't sign the agreement, you can't attend the retreat.
  • When you sign up for the retreat, your credit card will show a bunch of letters that mean nothing. The words "divorce," "lawyer," and even "Karen Covy," will NOT appear on your credit card! (You can also register with a prepaid debit card or Paypal. That way NOTHING will show up on your credit card.)  


At the same time, while getting away may not be super easy, there’s a reason why I’m doing this as a live retreat, not an anonymous webinar:  

I WANT YOU TO GET RESULTS!

This is a BIG decision. It’s intensely PERSONAL. It takes time and deep thought.  

If you think that you’re going to sit down and watch a one hour webinar and immediately know what you should do with your marriage, you’re kidding yourself!  

Giving yourself the gift of time to focus on YOU and what YOU WANT will help you get clear about your marriage and get OFF the rollercoaster of indecision!

What's Your Investment?  

The eventual price for the Decision Day Retreat will be somewhere in the $2000 range. 

If you were to hire me to coach you individually for the same amount of time you will be working with me here it would cost you at least $3000.  

It would also take you longer to get the results you want. 

(When you're working on something for an hour here and an hour there, you can't make the same kind of progress that you can make when you are totally immersed in reaching your goal.)

That's why I created this retreat. By giving you a place where you can get away and spend an entire day focusing solely on YOU, you can dive deeper and move farther faster. Here's what a past participant said:

"I went to the DDay Retreat to get some clarity. I got that. The retreat helped me to see both sides of my relationship more clearly. It made me decide to appreciate what I have and I decided to work harder in that direction. I would recommend this retreat to others because in it you can talk without fear. I’m glad I went. It was well worth the time and money."

So what will it cost you to spend a day focusing on yourself and getting clear about what to do with your marriage and your life?

$1,197.00 

That's considerably less than what you would pay a divorce lawyer OR a marriage counselor! 

Here's what you need to know:

Because I want you to be in an atmosphere that's relaxing, safe, and will help you think clearly, I'm purposely keeping the size of the retreat small. 

Only 10 people can participate in this retreat. 

After that, the retreat will be closed until next time ... whenever that may be. Right now I have nothing else scheduled.

You'll also be getting more than just information …

You'll be getting an experience; 

You'll be learning a decision-making process; and

You'll be getting tools you can use to make, not just this decision, but every major life decision you face from now on.

You'll also be getting a LOT of personal time with me.

As members of this retreat, I’ll be spending extra time with you, before, during, and after the retreat. 

I'll be talking with you before the retreat starts so I can learn more about you right from the start. 

I'll also be talking again with you after the retreat is over to make sure you're going in the right direction and are ready to deal with anything that might still be standing in your way. 

Right now you can participate in this retreat for only $1,197 … 

…which, by the way, is about what you would spend for a few hours with a good divorce attorney.  

The doors to the Decision Day Retreat are now open, but they won’t be for long: 

There are only 10 spots available. 

Once those spots are filled, registration will be closed.  

Decision Day Retreat: September 27, 2019  

Hilton Rosemont/Chicago O'Hare

The Practical Stuff: 

• The retreat will be held from 8:30am – 4:30pm on Friday, September 27, 2019, at the Hilton Rosemont/Chicago O’Hare at 5550 N. River Road, Rosemont, Illinois. You will be able to easily get to and from the retreat whether you live in the Chicago area or you’re flying in from somewhere else;

 (NOTE: To get a discounted room rate at the Hilton, use the discount code HDEC when making your reservation!)

• The retreat will be for both men and women; 

  • The retreat is for individuals, not couples;


• You will not get any materials about the retreat in the mail. All correspondence will be via the email address you use to sign up;  

• What will appear on your credit card is just random letters. Your credit card will not say anything about divorce, separation, or decision making. (Btw, if you don't want ANYTHING on your credit card, you can use a prepaid debit card or Paypal); 

• In order to participate in the retreat YOU MUST BE WILLING TO SIGN A CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENT IN ADVANCE stating that you will keep everything that is said at the retreat completely confidential. If you’re not willing to sign the agreement, you can’t participate in the retreat!; 

• During the retreat, you are free to use whatever name you choose. The only one who needs to know your real name is me.